The safest way to live life is to not live at all.
Here’s the Problem: Schools around the country are shutting down because of suspected swine flu cases. Great kids. Enjoy the day off! And by “enjoy” I mean don’t touch anything, eat anything, smell anything or look at anything.
Actual Problem: Wanna be scared? Here’s a list of diseases contracted through touching. How about you use some of that Purell you’ve been hoarding to avoid dying from the regular flu (just as catchy as the pig one, and as of today, 36,000 times more deadly in America).
Listen, if you think you’re catch this, buy a lotto ticket. There are 109 confirmed cases out of 300 million people in this country. That’s a .000004% chance. Good luck!
From an e-mail to college students: “As your University Student Health Center Physician, I urge you not to shake hands, but greet each other by waving or bowing.”
THAT’S how ridiculous this has gotten.
Hmmm… I kinda like it. You should be doing more bowing around the office.