Here’s the Problem: Dancing Your Ass Off

You see fierce competition. I see chalupa.

[TV KETCHUP - Chapter 3]

A series of posts about all the recorded TV I caught up on during a bout of insomnia.

Here’s the Problem:  Oxygen had a fab idea with this one – combining a dancing show and weight loss show – two red hot genres in the reality TV biz.  However, it’s the weakest version of both shows.  The contestants aren’t the strongest of dancers, and so far their scale readings haven’t blown me away.

Actual Problem:  For whatever reason watching people work this hard and dance so intensely really makes me want Taco Bell.  Ah, ok, reason for insomnia discovered. 

Here’s the Problem: NJ Mobwives Reunion

Just stop. You don't get a nickname like "Tiny" unless you've gotten a Tommy Gun for a birthday present. Capeesh?

[TV KETCHUP - Chapter 2]

A series of posts about all the recorded TV I caught up on during a bout of insomnia.

Here’s the Problem:  I realize I’m a bit behind on this one, but may I please have a moment to reflect on my favorite quote of NJ Housewives Reunion part 1 in reference to the murder of Caroline’s father-in-law, Albert Tiny Manzo: 

Was it my father-in-law that was killed and shoved into a trunk? I’m dangerous? I knew about this through the whole show. I didn’t bring it up once. I’m classy. ~ Danielle Staub aka Beverly Merrill aka Prostitution Whore

 

Actual Problem:  Listen.   I’m not going to get in the middle of this because, as a Jersey girl I learned early on to, ”respect the family,” but this was not an exercise in class.  It was an attempt to save her own life.  Blurting this out during one the highest rating episodes of the season – not safe OR classy, Danielle.  You better hope those implants help you float to the surface of the Hudson. 

 

Here’s the Problem: Real World Promise Piercing

 

 

 

[TV KETCHUP - Chapter 1]

A series of posts about all the recorded TV I caught up on during a bout of insomnia.

Here’s the Problem:  Jonna on The Real World Cancun (the first RW I’ve watched in years, and trust me, what a glorious season to return to) has a “Promise Piercing” on her left ring finger.  It’s like a promise ring, but more permanent.  Not as permanent as a proposal, though.

Actual Problem:  How about this for a pre-marriage vow,  “I promise to not go on any reality shows that strongly encourage infidelity, or even weakly encourage it through the funneling of booze and communal showers with no curtains”.

Here’s The Problem: Celebrity Death

Here’s The Problem: Celebrities are dropping like flies.

Actual Problem: It’s hard for me to find problems that are bigger than death…..but don’t fret – i will.

Here’s The Problem:Michael Jackson

Here’s The Problem: We will miss Michael Jackson

Here’s The Problem: Farrah Fawcett

Here’s The Problem: We will miss Farrah Fawcett.

Here’s the Problem: Tattoo Fraud!

Aw, poor crazy starred face girl.

Here’s the Problem:  UPDATE!! Turns out our crazy tattooed face girl lied.  She ASKED for 56 stars and changed her story when Papa Bear flipped his lid.

Actual Problem:  I still think there’s something shady going on.  No tattoo artist agrees to pay for the removal of half his art if he wasn’t at all in the wrong.  My theory:  Tattoo artist and Dad?  SAME PERSON!  I’m putting a multiple personality conspiracy out there.  Or maybe I’ve just been watching too much Grey’s Anatomy…

Here’s The Problem: She’s Just Being Miley!

Sweet 16!

Here’s The Problem: Producer/Director, Adam Shankman, posted this picture of Miley Cyrus on his twitter account……..

Actual Problem: This looks like an ad for a Coyote Ugly Sequel – the girl is 16 - don’t post the gross pictures you’re taking of her - keep the kiddie porn for yourself, Shankman!!!!

Here’s The Problem: Jon and Kate’s Divorce

thumbs DOWN

Here’s The Problem: Last night Jon and Kate made an announcement that they are separating (although now it has progressed to full on divorce). Two things that stood out in this very special episode were:

1. Jon’s shiny new earrings

2. His take on the situation: “……and i’m excited….”

Actual Problem: No matter how big a bitch your soon to be ex wife is – for the sake of your kids, it’s not ok to say you’re excited about spilting up your family (and take the goddamn earrings out Jon - you’re not  P.Diddy).

Here’s the Problem: Katherine Heigl

She is going to be so pissed when she comes back to life and Karev is dating Miranda.

Here’s the Problem: Katherine Heigl is now rumored to be returning to Grey’s Anatomy next season after the big dramatic cancer storyline wiped out her character, Izzie, and let the writers breathe a sigh of relief to know that they didn’t have to deal with the small screen diva who blamed them for her lack of Emmy-worthy material. 

Actual Problem:  Really Grey’s?  You’re bringing back another dead person?  This is the kinda shit that happens on One Life to Live.  I might be a single 20-something with a cat, but that does not mean I’m the kinda person who believes that  when Shelia disappeared in Season 3 and came back 8 years later after living in a cave with ape people who reconstructed her face, everyone would just go along with her calling herself Betsy.  No.  Please.  For my dignity, let dying dogs die.