Here’s The Problem: Suri Cruise as a Fashionista

Here’s The Problem: Suri Cruise has a Blog dedicated to her. It’s called the Suri Cruise Fashion Blog. What will Suri wear next???? OMG I’m DYING to know! A romper? A tiny tee that cost more than my rent? Some sparkly high heels? The possibilites are endless!

Actual Problem: At that age, the only exclamation over your clothes should be Osh Kosh B’Gosh!

Here’s The Problem: Miley’s Tattoo

Here’s The Problem: Ok, so I’m a week or so behind on my Miley gossip – but here we go anyway. This tattoo that Miley is sporting seems to read “Just Breathe”, like the Faith Hill song. I would have picked “Just Dance” cause I’m more of a Lady Gaga fan, but I digress…It should really say “Just Not Legal” – cause home girl is only 17.

Actual Problem: When Daddy Ray Cyrus has to sign a permission slip before you can do something you should probably “Just Wait”.

Here’s The Problem: Kim Kardashian’s Soggy Salad

Here’s The Problem: Now, everyone knows that I have an unhealthy obsession with the Kardashians. So, I was super stoked when I  found out that Kim was going to be in a Carl’s JR commercial. Burgers AND Kardashians!!??!!! OMG best commercial ever. But then, I watched it…..

Actual Problem: Salad does not belong in or near the tub. I mean – really. Or to put this in simpler terms, as my sister, Kelsey said “The actual problem is IT SUCKS.”

Here’s The Problem: McDonald’s Staff as Friends

Here’s The Problem: Last night I went to my local McDonald’s to get some dinner and something terrible ensued. The nameless, faceless, voice behind the speaker said “Hey, you changed your order. Don’t you normally get a number 3?” Oh dear, oh dear……

Actual Problem: When the people making your Big Mac Meal know you by the sound of your squeaky voice, it is perhaps time to learn to cook.

Here’s The Problem: Flip Commercials

REALLY? No, Sally Jesse Wanna-be a spokesmodel at age 49 but instead I’m on this whack ad for the FLIP, no, I do NOT Flip.

Here’s The Flippin Problem: I cannot watch another Flip commercial. I can’t. Ok, so your tiny son got paint on his face – soooo cute – look, send it to Grandma. And ok, maybe you saw a dog in a backpack, or your kid went down the slide and for some reason that’s like, this huge deal. WHATEVER. We get it – a Flip will record all these precious moments.

Actual Problem: If I have to watch one more of these commercials I’m gonna flip my TV over and throw it out the window.

Here’s The Problem: Snookie on the Web

Here’s The Problem: My favorite chick from Jersey Shore, Snookie, has her own website. Snook, has so far wowed us with: half naked cartwheels in the bar, a Priscilla Presley hair-do NOT and orange skin. But this website can’t be beat!

Actual Problem: There are no pictures of her getting punched in the face by that big dude. Buzz Kill, Snooker Bar!

Here’s the Problem: The Untitled Bunchend-Brady Project

Here’s the Problem:  Gisele Bunchend and Tom Brady have yet to name their child and she popped this kid out 9 days ago!!! Get this kid a shot gun now cuz it’s all downhill.

Actual Problem:  Please help the current holders of America’s Worst Parent Award name this baby before it’s too late:

Thank you to Nicole Searls for being an excellent Soup & Gossip Mag partner and pointing out this story.

And a special thank you to *BoyBoss* for his help getting a “poll up in this piece”

Here’s the Problem: Jersey Shore 1*

Does no one pay attention to posted signs anymore?

Here’s the Problem:  I’m all caught up on the first 3 episodes of MTV’s Jersey Shore.  Yes, I know I’m a little late, but I thought  – I grew up amidst this mess, I don’t need to watch it on TV!  I could use that time watching more important stuff (like The Sing Off – Maxx Factor 4-eva!).    But now that I’m all sucked in, I’d like to add my two cents to the pile of counterfeit change on MTV’s doorstep.   What I loved most about the shore were not just the Italian Guidos and Guidettes, but the wannabes.  The Columbian Guidos, the Jewish Guidettes, the Black guys standing outside your favorite water ice stand talking like their Sicilian grandmother just dropped them off.

Actual Problem:  I’m having trouble relating here.  Not only cuz I’ve never gotten naked in a rooftop hot tub full of strangers, but because even though I went to high school with a Mike Capozzi AND a Mike Capizzi, I don’t feel Italian enough to be apart of this group.

*Just giving myself the opportunity to make this a series, should it become necessary… and it WILL be necessary.

Here’s The Problem: US Weekly Headlines

it's shocking that these kids can't work it out...

Here’s The Problem: This morning my US Weekly “alert” email pops up with this headline: Tiger Woods Divorce is 100 Percent On. Really?? It is? I cannot believe that! Shocking news.

Actual Problem: I love US but I cannot take it when they talk to me like I’m special. Next thing ya know, the headlines will be: Lohan – Still a Mess, Stevie Wonder – Still Blind, etc.

Here’s The Problem: Madonna and Lourdes

Here’s The Problem: Madonna and her daughter, Lourdes, attended the premiere of Nine together. I’m sure it was an evening full of fun, fake accents and more. Here’s my issue with their delightful leather and lace outfits…..Little “Lola” is 13….and she seems to be wearing fishnet stockings and a glove?

Actual Problem: Dressing like your mother gets you nowhere. Do the names Naomi and Wynnona mean anything to you?