Here’s the Problem: ChatRoulette

Here’s the Problem:  Chattroulette, a new social networking site that randomly matches you up with someone from around the world to video chat with, is taking the internet by storm. You might think “Oh this is such a good idea! I can get to know someone from around the world and learn their culture.”

Actual Problem:  More like, “Oh this is such a good idea!  I can watch a Romanian guy jerk off!”   They should  integrate ChatRoulette into this messed up program in Elmer, Indiana where the Middle School is fixing up kids as young as 11 – sometimes with 10th grader in the same school – to be in super special boy-girl relationships.  With ChatRoulette, this little girl could meet the man of her dreams, learn about a far off land for her next report, AND have a ton to talk about with her therapist in 8 years.

Special Thanks to Intern Hillary and introducing Craig Margolis as the inspiration for this post!

Here’s the Problem: Michael Kors’ Protrusion

Here’s The Problem:  TMZ posted a photo of Michael Kors on a beach in St. Barts bustin out all over the place, particularly in the navel area.

Actual Problem:   Bringing back cummerbunds for this season.  Make it work!

Thanks to Miss Claire Hambrick for exposing what God meant to hide.

Here’s The Problem: MAC Ad w/ Lady G and Cyndi

holy whores!

Here’s The Problem: So, I realize that I’m a little late on this – but deal. So, this MAC campaign with Lady Gaga and Cyndi Lauper….I’m so confused. Are they in the circus? Are they working a corner? Did MAC want to use ALL the eyeliner they currently had in stock on this ONE ad? Do you realize how much money you would actually have to spend at MAC to put all that makeup on your face?

Actual Problem: You can look like a hooker for so much less if you just go to the damn drug store and pick up some L’Oreal.

Here’s The Problem: Beyonce needs to get Hooked on Phonics

 

Here’s The Problem: In a recent interview Beyonce talks about having children and her relationship with her mommy:

Eventually. When it happens it happens… I definitely want a family. I’m too close to my mother, I have the best mother, you know. I can only hope the relationship I have with my mother, I can have with my kids whenever I decided to have them.”

Actual Problem: Sasha Fierce needs a grammar lesson. According to my pal, Kyle XY : Decided should be decide, I believe. You can’t past tense something that hasn’t happened yet, Beyonce. DUH.

Here’s The Problem: Kourtney Kardashian Gives Birth on TV

Here’s The Problem: If you missed the latest episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians, you missed the biggest problem this week. Kourtney, the tiniest of the bunch, went into labor and gave birth to her son, Mason…..by reaching down between her own legs and pulling him out.

Actual Problem: When did this become the Discovery Channel? I want more shots of Khloe marrying strangers and less of  placenta. Thanks.

Here’s The Problem: Dogs in Raincoats

i mean.....really?

Here’s The Problem: I have an issue with animals dressed as humans. So yesterday my best friend sends me a message telling me that she has purchased rain gear for her very small dog, Olive.

Actual Problem: Something that walks on all fours and comes with a built in fur coat should not need accessories for different types of weather.

Here’s the Problem: Bristol Palin Acting Debut

Here’s the Problem: Baby Mama Bristol Palin, daughter of Sarah Palin (former VP candidate and current bimbo)  is scheduled to make a guest appearance on ABC Family’s The Secret Life of the American Teenager. She will play herself.

Actual Problem:  Between this tragedy, MTV’s 16 and Pregnant, and Lifetime’s The Pregnancy Pact, the glamorization of teen pregnancy is causing poor intern Hillary to contemplate closing her books for good and “getting to work on that cute guy sitting across the room”.  Bad choice, Hillary.  If you’re going to get knocked up look at the guy who isn’t as cute.  Trust me, he wants to have sex just as much, but his lack of promise for future relationships may translate into being a better dad.

*~*this has been advice from old folks*~*

Thanks for the post Hillary!!

Here’s The Problem: Jon Gosselin’s Small…

yup! i'm small!

Here’s The Problem: For some reason unbeknownst to me, women who have dated Jon Gosselin really want to talk about him….and his very small package. Really? WHY? So, he’s super small as well as super stupid – who gives a flip?

Actual Problem: You dated Jon Gosselin – Gross. You saw his goods – GROSS. And now you’re talking about how you dated Jon Gosselin and saw his goods –  G R O S S.

Here’s the Problem: Olympic-sized Ego

Here’s the Problem:  In Olympic news Evan Lysacek won Gold over Evgani Plusenko in men’s figure skating.  This is a big deal over here, because while they both sound like they’re Russkies, Evan is actually one of us (an American).   Evgani was none to happy about this and today on his website, he is proudly displaying his Olympic medals – Salt Lake Silver (nice), Torino Gold (well done) and Vancouver Platinum (uh… ‘scuse me?).

Actual Problem:  You don’t get to have that kinda hubris AND prance around in skin tight glitter.   And your wife looks like a man.  Ok, I’m done. 

U S A !  U S A !

Here’s the Problem: Bachelor Bitches (or, “Bachelor, Bitches!”)

Here’s the Problem:  Last night’s Bachelor reunion show, “The Women Tell All” did NOT disappoint, especially when one special woman told all about dirty old man host, Chris Harrison, getting a little inappropriate with the wife of the producer who got fired for necking with a contestant on a couch.  What?!

Actual Problem:  Bachelor breaking the forth wall, the fifth wall, the walls at Walmart – all kinds of walls!  Unfortunately, the best drama this season came from a chick booted week 3.  Doesn’t matter to me, though.  I’m anxiously awaiting the finale when Vienna gets a ring from the most eligible bachelor in the show’s history – not eligible because of how charmingly wonderful he is, but because being a $22k/year pilot who’s always on the road makes him quite available for the most desperate of women.