Here’s the Problem: Alicia Keys is trying like hell to make an honest man out of Swizz Beatz. If you aren’t up on your urban gossip like we are, here’s the deal – Swizz started an affair with Keys in 2008, while still married to the one and only Mashonda. He eventually left Mashonda for Keys and the two announced Keys’ pregnancy earlier this year. Keys and Swizz got engaged in May and now Keys is pushing for a shotgun wedding this summer. Exhausting.
Actual Problem: We get it, Alicia! You’re not a lesbian! You didn’t need to knock yourself up and rush a wedding on a guy with 3 kids with 3 mommas. You coulda just woken up topless at a frat house one morning. I hear that works just as well.
Listen, I still wish them all the best, so you can keep your hate comments to yourselves.


