Here’s The Problem: Soooo….I noticed this similarity a few weeks ago but decided to keep quiet about it. I have love for Gaga and I try to support her creativity.
Actual Problem: The cat’s out of the bag and Gaga is lookin’ like she’s about to poison an apple.
Here’s The Problem: So, it seems that Robin Thicke (son of Alan, in case anyone still hasn’t put 2 and 2 together to get multiple Thickes) can not only sing but he can make magic…multiple times – in fact – he claims he can give his wife double-digit orgasms.
Actual Problem: I bet he wishes his last album hadn’t debuted at number 22. How’s that for a double digit?
Happy Holidays Thicke!
Here’s The Problem: Merry Christmas Eve!!!! What are all our problem peeps doing today? Lisa will be on a plane soon (I won’t tell you where she is heading because the paparazzi have been driving her NUTS recently) and I am sitting in my apartment watching holiday episodes of The Nanny.
Actual Problem: I opened my best gift yesterday at Fake Family Christmas and I fear that it’s all fruitcakes and socks from here on out.
Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanza!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Here’s The Problem: Jessica Simpson was spotted shopping for wedding dresses while pregnant even though her wedding will not take place until the bun has left the oven.GIRL. How are you even going to do that?
Actual Problem: I’m about to get OLD SCHOOL right now, but, once again. i’m pissed this morning so bear with me…. Dosen’t anyone do anything correctly anymore??? Get married and then get knocked up.
Here’s The Problem: This commercial. Watch it. And then ask yourself – why is this on TV? I know what CLOROX does. It is a product that has been around for YEARS. I don’t need this commerical about shit in a tub to explain it’s many uses.
Actual Problem: I’ve decided I hate kids and will never have them. I also hate bleach.
I’m filled with rage this morning so I’m gonna hit you with about 10 posts and then see if my rage has subsided.
Get ready! Here we GO.
Here’s the Problem: TLC recently premiered the best show since Toddlers and Tiaras: The Virgin Diaries. It follows some people who choose to be virgins until marriage and one sad, sad guy that is a virgin not by choice. He has cats and his name is Carey so he kind of brought it upon himself, though. It also follows a couple about to get married that haven’t even kissed before. HAVEN’T EVEN KISSED BEFORE. That is just so fucking weird.
Actual Problem: Would you buy shoes before you try them on? Didn’t think so…
Here’s The Problem: So, when I was looking at Lindsay Lohan’s leaked Playboy photos (shut up – you did it too) I started to feel really sad…for myself….mainly, for my breasts. As Lindsay’s sat proud and perky – I looked down at my own and could almost hear them saying “sorry – we tried”.
Actual Problem: When a girl who has been anorexic, bulimic and on drugs looks better naked than you.
Here’s The Problem: Today is the birthday of one of my favorite people in the whole world. My fake Mother. Many of you loyal HTP readers may have heard of her. She is the best. She is the greatest. She is my mom (who had the luck of not getting me until I was older, prettier and had college paid for already). Anyhow, it’s her birthday! Happy Birthday!!!!
Me: I’m so happy it’s your birthday!
Fake Mom: I’m happy…kind of. Actually, I’m not that happy.
Fake Mom: Well, it just means I’m getting older….but I guess the alternative is worse…
Me: What…..you mean…DEATH?
Fake Mom: Yes.
Me: Yes, I think most things are better than that.
Here’s The Problem: Guys. There is a PANDA on a PLANE.
Actual Problem: Do you not see the panda??? What, I gotta spell everything out for you?