Monthly Archives: May 2009

Here’s The Problem: Levi Johnson

Gun? Check. Sperm to impregnate young teens? Check!

Gun? Check. Sperm to impregnate young teens? Check!

Here’s The Problem: This fool has a spread in GQ magazine. Seriously???

Actual Problem: Knocking up some girl who is named after a grocery store should NOT end with male glamour shots.

Here’s The Problem: Fleetwood Mac

Atta Girl.

Atta Girl.

Here’s The Problem: I went to see Fleetwood Mac last night – and they were AMAZING. Stevie was freaking out and banging her tambourine and kicking and twirling for 3 hours!

Actual Problem: A 60 year old woman is way more kick-ass than I will ever be.

Here’s the Problem: I Don’t Look Like This

You can do laundry on her abs.  You'd lose a sock in mine.

You can do laundry on her abs. You'd lose a sock in mine.

Here’s the Problem:  I’m running a marathon on Sunday, and you’d think after 5 months of training, running up to 40 miles a week, I’d have some kinda slammin’ body that would attract men, money and modeling contracts.

Actual Problem:  I’m going to have to run this so I can just look like this.

Here’s the Problem: Prop 8 Upheld

problem52

Here’s the Problem:  Today’s devastating California Supreme Court decision to uphold the discriminatory proposition 8 is a HUGE problem.   We rarely get serious or political, but the fight for civil rights – across all platforms – is a fight worth discussing and continuing. 

Actual Problem:  Disappointment is unavoidable, but we cannot let mourning get in the way of the activism we need now to overcome this.   The grassroots passion that came alive last year in the fight to continue the advancement in gay rights must remain as strong as ever.  Remember the hurdles that have already been overcome – discrimination in employment, housing, adoption.   This is not over.

**Actual ACTUAL problem:  I just moved to West Hollywood on Friday.   I don’t imagine this traffic-creating clusterfuck is my housewarming party.  Nonetheless – BE THERE.

Here’s the Problem: Marathon Balls

This sac made good time

This sac made good time

Here’s the Problem:  A man dressed up a… ahem… scrotum ran the LA Marathon today (running for male cancer research)

Actual Problem:  With 5 pounds of foam and fake pubes, he still had better split times than I will next week.

Here’s the Problem: Baby Celebrities

C'mon kid!  You only get to sport a faux hawk AND a pacifier if you are skilled with glow sticks.

C'mon kid! You only get to sport a faux hawk AND a pacifier if you are skilled with glow sticks.

Here’s the Problem:  From Suri Cruise to whatever new plaything (read: child) Madonna is purchasing this week, the pappers are all over famous people’s kids.

Actual Problem:  In the last month I have thought to myself, “geeze, Apple Martin could really stand to lose some of that baby fat.”  But I mean, really, 5 years old isn’t a baby anymore, and the camera does add 10 lbs… lay off the fruit snacks. 

*Special Thanks to Nicole Searls for enlightening us about this photo and Jen Love’s career mistakes.  Now get back to work!  Those screenings don’t schedule themselves.

If YOU see a problem – let us know!  Herestheproblem at gmail dot com

Here’s the Problem: “Transitioning” into Country

problem48

Cowboy Blues

Here’s the Problem: Jennifer Love Hewitt is the latest celebrity to think anyone can add a little twang to a bad love song and be successful.  It’s not working for Jessica Simpson.  It’s not working for Boyz to Men.  It’s not going to work for a chick whose website includes a link to “Producer’s Corner”.  There’s nothing country about that.

Actual Problem:   Taking a lesson from Hootie is always shameful.