Here’s the Problem: Tennis star Andre Agassi recently released a book that admits what a huge fuck up he is – he only played the sport he was a God in because he was afraid of his dad; was addicted to crystal meth; wore hair pieces to disguise his drug-induced hair loss; and maybe most shameful of all, left his super model wife, Brooke Shields, to be with Stefi Graf. If you ever needed proof that drugs ruin your judgment – look at a side by side picture of these women in the 90s.
Actual Problem: There are bald, tennis-hating meth heads in Fresno who will be serving a 5-year sentence for their drug addiction, while Agassi is going to remain a free man, making millions off his book. There have to be consequences tied to his admissions and maybe it’s time for Agassi to be a man for once and give up his ill-won trophies. It’ll probably be as easy as giving up the trophy wife he didn’t deserve.
**Special Thanks to Ms. Marianne Goode for the tip off on this problem and for reminding me to fill up my gas tank before sundown.