Here’s The Problem: LISTEN. It has come to my attention that people are saying, once again, that this dude who used to be ONJ’s boyfriend is alive. As if this is brand new information. As if we didn’t already know that he hated Olivia so much that he FAKED HIS OWN DEATH. As if my father, Mike, was not on the boat the night that this dude jumped ship. (Mike’s rep could not be contacted for a comment).
Actual Problem: It’s a slow ass news day when we are resurrecting a “dead” guy who’s best known for hating his girlfriend so much that he threw himself off a fishing boat.