Here’s the Problem: God fucking help me if this is true. US Weekly is reporting that Justin Timberlake may be putting in a little extra credit on the set of Bad Teacher with his ex, Cameron Diaz, while little Miss Too Pretty Pants is home crying about how hard it is too look so hot.
Actual Problem: Should US Weekly (and now MTV and TMZ and all other reliable news sources) be right, we are officially in the infidelity apocalypse – Tiger, Jesse, Josh Duhmel, John Edwards, David Letterman, your Dad’s best friend (probs), LARRY FUCKING KING, and now JT?! Something this catastrophic can lead to changes in human science and social practices. In 500 years people will look back to this time as the beginning of female-only procreation. Of course the people studying it will be way too in touch with their feelings to understand the science.
Actual Actual Problem: Between this post and my general hatred of female sportscasters and comedians I’m fast becoming the douchiest misogynist I know. Good thing I work at Spike TV.