Here’s the Problem: Michael Lohan, aka America’s #1 dad, wants to take legal action to keep his crazy spawn safe. His Lawyer, Lisa Bloom (I know what you’re thinking – why didn’t didn’t hire Gloria Allred? She must have been at the plastic surgeons or something), said “Michael has a problem millions of Americans have: what can a parent do when an adult child appears to have a serious alcohol or drug problem?”
Actual Problem: She doesn’t APPEAR to have an alcohol or drug problem, she OBVIOUSLY has one…has anyone been living under a rock for the past 3 years? To fix this problem, daddy dearest should send Lindsay to my high school where just two nights ago, they breathalyzed us as we walked into prom. Their super strict rules will whip that ass into shape!
Please enjoy this photo of Intern Hillary being breathalyzed. It’s practically yearbook worthy.