Here’s the Problem: It’s Thursday. My Hills update is late. I’m sorry but real life got in the way. I don’t mean real life like I was out interacting with other human beings, but I had “things” going on and then there was a new episode of Lost and basically, I didn’t get a chance to watch The Hills until today.
Here’s the Problem You Actually Care About: Spencer and Heidi are straight up crazy. Like, going beyond crystals crazy. The vein on Spencer’s forehead keeps threatening to burst and Heidi still can’t really convey any sort of real emotion thanks to the staples in her face. The girls hold some sort of mini intervention with Holly and Stephanie, who finally admitted that they are somehow enablers of Speidi’s crazy antics and have to cut them out of their lives. Finally. I could have told them to do this three years ago, but then I’d have nothing to talk about. Anyway.
The best quote from the episode was Heidi, who despite years of hanging out with the same three girls over and over again, stating to Audrina and Kristen, “You don’t know me. Spencer didn’t change me. I changed myself.” No, honey, you didn’t. Your plastic surgeon changed you. At least, he changed the parts of you that didn’t need any fixing.
Here’s Another Problem: Apparently Kristen and Brody hooked up. That’s not the problem. Who hasn’t hooked up with an ex-boyfriend? Wait, not me. Whatever. Anyway, the problem is WTF is Brody wearing the morning after!?
Actual Problem: Ryan Cabrera is still on this show. Since we know he and Audrina are officially over, can’t the producers just edit him out of the rest of the episodes?
Not a Problem: This is the first time I’ve actually paid attention to the opening credits and I love that each shot of the girls show their first appearance on the show. It’s like MTV is reminding you how far they’ve come from wide-eyed innocent girls from California to…completely vapid and surgically enhanced girls from California.