Here’s the Problem: In honor of the Toddlers and Tiaras season premiered last night, TLC showed an all day marathon of this glorious program and I subsequently have been watching all day. That’s another problem but we’re not gonna go there. I can’t seem to take my eyes off these prostitutestots flaunting their teeny tiny bikini bods on a stage in front of their mothers who are living vicariously
through their spawn. Did I mention said spawn are like 5?
Actual Problem: These prostitots don’t even want to be strutting their little girl bodies on stage. They’d much rather be watching some children’s show that makes me want to gauge my eyes out. Their dumb-as-shit mothers force them to. These babies wear more makeup on their face at one time than I ever have in my entire existence.
Actual Actual Problem: These pageant queens need to share their makeup with their mothers. If anyone’s seen the show you’d know that these mothers do not have a chance in hell to even qualify for a “kind of presentable looking” pageant much less a beauty one.