Monthly Archives: October 2010

ELECTION GUIDE

Hi Readers!

HTP will release a very biased and slightly ridiculous Election Guide on Monday to help all you fools who don’t know how to read a newspaper.

If you have opinions on candidates or propositions you’d like to share, please email them to: HeresTheProblem (at) gmail (dot) com.

Here’s The Problem: Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Here’s The Problem: Has anyone watched The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills? These bitches are fantastic. I’m already obsessed with Kyle (brunette with longer hair). She is amazing and is also Paris Hilton’s aunt. So where is the problem? I’ll tell you. It’s Kelsey Grammer’s ding-bat (ex?) wife – Camille. This bitch has 4 nannies – for 2 children and has one of those baby stirpper voices – you know what I’m talking about? Yeah, you do.

Actual Problem: The gal on the far right is a Maloof – which means she is        S U P E R rich and yet she could not afford a plastic surgeon who wouldn’t turn her into creepy cat lady? Hmmm.

Here’s The Problem:Halloween is only for YOUNG Whores

Here’s The Problem: Guys, my slutty days have passed me by……..ok let’s be real – I have never had a “slutty” day in my life…….but on Halloween I used to dress like one. I used to have these rocking parties where I got wayyyy too drunk and wore push up bras and started (small & containable) fires in my apartment and  I was Snow White in stilettos (kinda like this whore in the picture)…..no more.

Actual Problem: My mother tells me not to age myself by saying I’m 30 when I’m actually 27 but I gotta tell ya – some things just don’t fly anymore at this age. For instance it might have been really cute to be a passed out slut-bag princess with Snickers wrappers in my hair and one hand clutching an empty bottle of tequila when I was 22 but NOW….

Here’s the Problem: Kardashian Lawsuit

Here’s the Problem:  This is old news, but I think it’s hilarious and you can’t put a timeline on funny.   There’s a prisoner suing the Kardashians for emotional distress because he has been forced to watch their show in jail – citing the domestic violence and racism on the show has perminantly scarred him.

Actual Problem: I am closely following any developments on this case.  If this dude (and in my head it’s OJ Simpson) gets his requested $75,000, I wonder how much the roommate of an E! executive could get…

 

**I love you!

Here’s The Problem: Celine Dion Names Her Babies

Here’s The Problem: Celine Dion and her grand-father-like hubby had twins the other day. Today, their names were announced in the US Weekly Daily News Letter……………..Nelson and Eddy.

 

Actual Problem: Did she just give birth to twin 85 year olds?

Here’s the Problem: Achy Breaky Hearts

Here’s the Problem: Billy Ray and Trish Cyrus have announced they are filing for divorce.

Actual Problem: So now Miley gets two sets of allowances? That bitch always gets the best of both worlds.

Here’s the Problem: The Circle of Life

Here’s the Problem:  Did you know sometimes when a person’s ego gets so big it manifests itself in the form of a fetus?

Actual Problem: Mariah Carey’s preggers.