Here’s the Problem: I understand that babysitting is expensive, but we need
to consider the cost to all the people sitting around you at the game. I
pay good money to drunkenly swear and make wildly inappropriate sexual
comments about both the players and coaches without the distraction of
9-year-old boys fighting and poking each other *and me*. I mean seriously,
they weren’t even as drunk as I was, so what’s their excuse?
Actual Problem: The parents. If it weren’t for them, nobody would be trying
to censor me or give me bad looks when I start hitting on the children to
Actual Actual Problem: The little boys poking me is probably the most
action I’ve gotten in months, unless you count the Chick-fil-a cow that
agreed to go on a date with me until I suggested we see Wall Street: Money
**Thanks Girl Crush Lara for writing this post! For more of Lara’s biting humor on her lack of sex check out cLARAfications. You won’t regret it. But hands off – she’s mind.