Here’s the Problem: Amber Portwood (you know her from beating up her baby daddy on national TV and incurring minimal consequences) is pregnant again! Hallelujah! It would be a shame if anyone thought that girl wasn’t fertile.
Actual Problem: Ambs isn’t quite sure who the daddy of this new bundle of dysfunctional joy is (she’s slept with 8 guys in the last 2 months), so she’s punching every man with a working penis within arms’ length. There is something so charming about an efficient ho. Makes me want to take her behind the bleachers and get her pregnant.