Here’s The Problem: Penn, Porking and the Prairie

Here’s The Problem: Scarlett Johansson and Sean Penn are dating. This is gross. This is a HUGE problem. He is 50.

50!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like Sally O’Malley!

When you are 27 years old and you have been married to a super hot guy with a super hot body and a non saggy (hopefully), non shriveled set of balls – WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY would you throw it all away for a dude who is old enough to be your dad???

Actual Problem: Lisa has brought it to my attention that this man is so old he was on Little House on the Prairie. If you’re old enough to have been on the prairie you are too old to be porking someone who has only now discovered the show on Hallmark channel.

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2 responses to “Here’s The Problem: Penn, Porking and the Prairie

  1. He may be 50, but I highly doubt he can kick and stretch.

  2. Seriously? Okay, wait, now that I think about it she totally seems like the type of 27 year old that wouldn’t mind saggy balls. Like she’s alternative that way, or something.

    Still gross.

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