Here’s the Problem: Sap, Long Form

Here’s the Problem:  Forgive me readers, for I have sinned.  It’s been nearly 2 weeks since my last post.  18 days since I’ve said mean things about celebrities I haven’t met, 12 days since I’ve hated on commercials for products I’ll never buy, 3 days since I’ve ignored emails from friends I’m annoyed with.  What’s the damage?  Three Perez Hiltons and a Celebitchy?

I can give you excuses for my absence (and I will if you so much as ask – no one plans a pity party like this bitch).  But the truth is, I really just need to apologize to myself.  I watched the series finale of Oprah yesterday and if there is one thing I learned from her commencement speech, it’s this – the writing of stupid quips about fame whores and poorly-made reality shows is my passion.   Even more than sneaking Kit Kats from the kitchen.  Even more than writing other people’s online dating profiles.  This – this blog – is my calling, and I am sad to have left it unanswered lately.

Actual Problem:  But seriously – what is up with Stedman?   What a very odd man stuck in such a very odd relationship.   I refuse to believe anything about him being gay, and I don’t think he’s using her for her money or fame (and if he is, he’s doing it all wrong). What has to happen in your childhood to make you become the kind of person who is satisfied living in the background of someone else’s movie?

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