Here’s The Problem: The Many Faces of Facebook

Here’s The Problem: I noticed recently that while I have 303 “friends” on Facebook, I have hidden about 250 of them. Why? I think it is because of these typical Facebook personas that are, well, annoying the shit outta me. For example:

Crazy Facebook Mom – The mother who posts the daily (hourly) goings-on of her child. Much to the disdain of her child-less pals…do we really care that little Jimmy just ate glue? That’s info for the check- in desk at Cedars.

Newly Married Facebook Gal – The newlywed who’s eyes are still sparkling from the big day. Lost of updates on “cooking dinner for my man” etc. Stop telling us how happy you are – go have sex with your “man” and pipe down!

Facebook Philosopher – The Facebooker who updates their status with important, life changing quotes… “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil. For thou art with me. Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life. Because I carry a big stick and I’m the meanest mother fucker in the valley! Two sharks down, Lord! One demon fish to go! Can I get an Amen?” – LL Cool J – Deep Blue Sea

Facebook Whore – Do I need to elaborate on this? If I see nipple it’s over.

Actual Problem: I feel like my status updates about eating churros for breakfast are sub-par. 😦

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One response to “Here’s The Problem: The Many Faces of Facebook

  1. Just blocked a friend for posting a pic of her daughter taking a dookie. That is something I DO NOT EVER need to see.

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