Here’s The Problem: An Open Letter to my Girl, Kim Kardashian

Dear Kimmie,

Girl, girl, GIRL.

Look, we have GOT to talk about this. You know I love you (not as much as I love Khloe but, I’m not trying to kick you when you’re down) I know you’ve had it rough lately – what with your sisters being married and having a kid and your big ass and everything…it must be tough. But, GIRL – do NOT get MARRIED because of it! Do not find some random Neanderthal off the NBA courts and trick that sucker into a wedding! A wedding that cost more than it would take to feed 5 third world countries. A wedding in which you wore 3 fucking dresses (none of which even fit that well, girl…it had to be said).

And THEN. And THEN! You decide this shit ain’t worth it and you kick poor Humprhies to the curb. After 72 (or whatever) days.


Think a little.

I’m not asking more than I know you’re capable of – just think a little.

love and hugs,



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