Here’s The Problem: The Rape of the Holidays

Here’s The Problem: I think we need to discuss the Holidays. Do you notice that the word HOLIDAYS has an “s”? That means plural (more than one). I feel that we, as a society, have decided to cram Thanksgiving into Christmas. A rape of sorts. Stuffing Thanksgiving right into Christmas. No one asked. There was no consent. Just – BAM! ThanksgivingChristmas. I do not need to hear Jingle Bells yet. I do not need to see the Folgers commercial from 1987 where the kid comes home to surprise his folks on Christmas morning. I have barely got the glue off my eyelids from my fake eyelashes from Halloween!

Actual Problem: I want to keep my slutty Minnie Mouse Halloween pictures up on Facebook for as long as possible – and if we skip right into Christmas that cuts down on my whore time.

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