Monthly Archives: May 2012

Here’s the Problem: Mel and Joey Are Too Cute

Here’s the Problem:  Do you hate me like I hate me??  You should.  Why?  Because today I watched this and found it ADORABLE.

Actual Problem:  Love.  Gag me with a heart shaped spoon.

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Here’s the Problem: Lisa Turtle

Here’s the Problem:  So… Of all the Saved By The Bell cast, Lisa wasn’t the one I associate with the most.  Other than having a great name, she just seemed like a spoiled brat with way too much clothes that I wouldn’t want to be friends with, but would be nice to in case I needed to borrow a pencil (or Jimmy Choos).  I did really like when she hooked up with Zach and Screech flipped out and ripped Zach’s t-shirt. Man, even as a child I loved the dramz.  Anyway, have you seen this new video with Michael MTV Yo Raps?  Here – I’ll give you a minute.  Check it out. 

Actual Problem:  When did Lisa Turtle turn into an Asian facelift whore???

 

***Thank you Kelly for bringing this to my attention and completely stopping my day.  It’s Friday anyway.  What was I thinking?

Here’s the Problem: Mom of the Year (AN INTERN HILLARY POST!!!!!!!!!!!)

Here’s the Problem: For Mothers Day weekend, I thought it was only appropriate to dedicate this post to the mom of the year…none other than baseball glove lookalike Patricia Krentcil. Y’all might know her better as “that dumb bitch who took her 6 year old daughter to the tanning bed but then denied it.” This woman is delusional. First of all, her daughter is a red head…doesn’t she know that red heads don’t tan?

Actual Problem: Her lip liner in her mugshot…what is that, sharpie?

Here’s the Problem: GIRLS! (the show)

Here’s the Problem:  I can not hold my tongue anymore.   I LOVE GIRLS.  The show.  I mean, I like the gender too… not like that… I mean…

I like the show.  And I didn’t think I was supposed to like the show.  Because until today Kara was angry about it and Jessie was angry about it and those are two girls  females whose opinions I respect.  But my roommate, Bobbie, had me watch the first 2 episodes a couple weeks ago and you know what? I adore it!  I love a show that is fairly accurate about the mistakes that women make in their early 20s.  I’m not saying I’ve done opium and asked my parents to give me money (all my opium usage was done with the understanding that I will be just as poor after as I was before). And I’m not saying I’ve let my boss touch me inappropriately (although I had to take a second and go through all my jobs before I confirmed that sentence was true).  But I think every girl has had a shitty relationship with a guy that gave her a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach and all her friends begged her to stop seeing him but she just can’t resist a dick pic wearing a fur shawl.  And while eating cupcakes in the bathtub is weird… I kinda want to do it.  I mean, cupcakes are fucking awesome no matter where you eat them.

And I really like the friendships.  A lot has been said about how these characters are generally unlikable and that it’s crazy that they all care about each other since they’re all so off putting.  Well that’s life.  Some of your friends suck.  Not all the time… but even if it’s most of the time, there was some span when either you sucked too or you liked that they sucked or you ignored that they sucked and during those times you went on vacations together or had dramatic nights at parties in cities too to far walk home from and shared really long gchat conversations about subjects that would later prove meaningless.  Friends are friends despite how awful they can be.

Actual Problem:  So it’s established.  I like Girls.  Ugh.  The show.  But I don’t like the title.  It’s confusing.  And when I had to ask Bobbie how to watch on HBOGo I felt like I was doing something really wrong:

Me 4:26 PM : where do you watch girls online?
and if IT is reading this I meant Girls, the show
  nothing weird
  well, except for the weird parts in Girls
  the show
  not girls
  UGH
  BOBBIE. Where can I watch the HBO show Girls on the internet?

Here’s The Problem: GIRLS……I spoke too soon

Here’s The Problem: I do this sometimes…I jump the gun. I speak before I have all the facts. And I think….I may have done this with GIRLS. Now, look, I stand by what I said – WHITE GIRL PROBLEMS. These bitches whine like no other and the whole lot of ‘em are dumb as shit. But you know what…..? That Shit is FUNNY. They finally got their hooks into me with one simple line “you can touch it of you want”. I died.

Actual Problem: I’ve been fed that line before. Yes, in real life. And yes – I snorted then too.

Here’s The Problem: Lea Michele is NOT Kim Kardashian

Here’s The Problem: Girl. Girl. GIRL.

Look, I understand that as women – we are constantly comparing ourselves to one another. Her boobs are bigger (and higher) than mine. Her nose is smaller than mine. I wish my thighs looked like hers. I’m so glad my ass does NOT look like hers. This sort of compare and contrast is natural among us gals. But let’s try to keep it in check. Let’s not become deluded in our perception of ourselves. Case and point: Lea Michele tweeting this picture to Kim Kardashian asking if they look alike.

 

No bitch. Of course you don’t look alike. And Kim was so sweet to humor you with her reply of “Twins!”.

Actual Problem: This is the same girl I was mistaken for….twice. Don’t really know how to feel about that.

Here’s the Problem: Traumatizing Your Kid

Here’s the Problem:  So, either this kid is a machine or on drugs or his brain hasn’t fully developed yet (that last option is nice for the sake of being nice).  But seriously – why isn’t he freaking out???

Actual Problem: Who are these parents??? Most parents traumatize their kids subconsciously, unknowingly, maybe even “innocently”.  We call that good parenting (until that kid is old enough to go to therapy).  Actually letting your baby see a wild animal swiping at him is child abuse.