Here’s the Problem: RIP Nora Ephron. RIP TomKat. RIP the belief in true love which we held quietly in our hearts while we publicly rolled our eyes at Tom Cruise’s couch-jumping fiasco and swooned the first time we saw John Cusack with a boombox over his head . It’s dangerous – that hope. It’s unrealistic and sets us up for heartbreak and disappointment. The cynic in me wants to say I hate love. The realist in me will settle for, “I hate movie love.”
Movie love is a threat to commitment. The grand romantic gestures played out in Pretty Woman and Officer and a Gentleman and When Harry Met Sally create an impossible level of expectations in relationships. It causes women to expect their boyfriend to throw rocks at the window at 3 am profess love and makes them want youtube lip dub marriage proposals. The same way porn has allowed men to believe there are thousands of large-breasted, tiny-waisted women in stilettos waiting to have loud submissive sex the balconies of mansions, Nora Ephron-style movies make women think that the men Hugh Grant and Matthew McConaughey portray exist. Yes, those women exist somewhere, but they probably have daddy issues and will want you to pay off their credit card(s). Just like the men who will purchase an $800 plane ticket just to run through your terminal and beg you to come back to them probably have a weak spine and unfixable commitment/trusting/foot fetish issues.
Actual Problem: In a world where we can watch reality shows that feature tropical island-hopping dates, and watching strangers have gravity-defying sex is one click away, managing expectations in a dating has become as difficult as meeting a person you want to exceed them.