Monthly Archives: May 2013

Here’s The Problem: The BEST Kettle/Pot Situation EVER

Here’s The Problem: Courtney Love is speaking up and telling Amanda Bynes to “pull it together”.


Actual Problem: No, no – that’s it.

Here’s the Problem: The Most Likable Thing Taylor Swift Has Done in YEARS

Here’s the Problem:  Taylor Swift passed by Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez sharing a post-Billboard Awards kiss on Saturday night and made the face we would have if we were there.

Actual Problem:  This clip is courtesy of

Yes, that’s the problem.

Here’s The Problem: The “THE” Problem

Here’s The Problem: The “THE” problem. Have you all noticed this happening – or maybe, God forbid, you are PART of the problem – an offender, if you will. I will illustrate the “THE” problem here with a few, fake, FB status updates:

Marcy Marcelton: The boyfriend is taking me on a fancy date to Medieval Times.

Fritzy Fritzsimmons: The hubby just bought me my favorite toilet paper! Charmin’ me with Charmin!

Debby Donboner: The sister and the mother are in town!!! Pedicure time!!

You get it, right? It’s addressing people in your life as if you are the ONLY person on earth who has these relationships. It’s odd. And self indulgent. And ODD. Right, this is odd?? Or maybe it’s just the way we all are now in this Facebook generation…….everyone is very important I guess. So important that they think THEIR loved ones are THE loved ones.

Actual Problem: We’re THE worst.

***Please advise, if you find yourself to be a part of the “THE” crowd, we still like you – we just cant respect you.

HTP: Flashback Friday

Here’s The Problem: This is a little Flashback Friday piece for all you kids out there who think that a bitchin’ piece of music is Tik Tok. Once Upon a Time, there were bands and singers and they did a ton of drugs and created something called Rock & Roll. THIS is Stevie Nicks singing a little diddy called Blue Lamp. Now, what the HELL is she talking about in this song? I just don’t know – but that’s what made it so great! The lyrics can mean whatever you want them to!

Actual Problem: Call Me Maybe.


*** This is a Kara problem, for those of you who are not HTP Super Fans and don’t know “the code”. Just want to be clear in case Lisa really loves Call Me Maybe…….maybe.

Here’s The Problem: Kelly’s Lookin’ So Crazy Right Now…..

Here’s The Problem: In the least shocking piece of news, like, EVER – Kelly Rowland wrote a song about how she battled with jealousy of Beyonce. The lyrics are indeed poignant:

“When my sister was on stage/killing it like a motherf–ker/I was in rage/feeling it like a motherf–ker,”

And HTP would like to be the first blog to reach out and congratulate Kelly for coming forward with this confession.

Actual Problem: Bitch we are ALL jealous of Bey Bey. ALL OF US. Unfortunately, we cannot use that jealousy to make a buck. You can. Kudos to you.

Here’s the Problem: OJ Simpson is Totes Guilty… OF GETTING FAT

Here’s the Problem:  OJ took the stand today begging the judge to give him a second trial that could acquit him of the 2007 armed robbery case that has left him with a 33-year prison sentence.

Actual Problem:  Isn’t there like, a gym in jail?  Wasn’t he like, a professional athlete?  HTP hereby convicts OJ Simpson GUILTY of letting himself go.


I mean, really, why haven’t you checked this on your own already?  Do we have to do everything for you?

Just kidding! We love you!  Happy Friday! Stay out of trouble!