Monthly Archives: January 2014

Here’s The Problem: People Who Don’t Age

Here’s The Problem: How are people supposed to build up their own self esteem when shit like this happens??

Actual Problem: A 60 year old looks younger than me. Read that sentence aloud a couple times and see how you feel.

Here’s The Problem: PINK needs more attention

Here’s The Problem: While everyone is busy doing their usual freak out post- Beyonce performance, I would like to take this time to talk about PINK. PINK is not getting enough credit, in fact, she is not getting any credit AT ALL. Bey Bey, while undeniably fierce, came out looking like a dominatrix, with a wet bob hairdo and proceeded to do her normal floor crawling routine. PINK, on the other hand, DESCENDED FROM THE CEILING ON RIBBON. PERFORMED A SERIES OF ACROBATIC TRICKS WHILE SINGING….WITH NO NET. NO. NET. Once on the ground, she LIFTED A MAN OFF THE GROUND USING ONLY HER THIGH STRENGTH.

Actual Problem: Ground crawling = mediocre. Flying thru the sky & lifting a dude = WINNING. Why cant more people see this???

Here’s The Problem: Justin Bieber

Here’s The Problem: Little Biebs is currently running amok – egging houses, speeding, getting arrested – the works. His ridic behavior was of little to no interest to us here at HTP until this Instagram pic he posted surfaced.
What you’re looking at is a picture of MJ flashing the peace sign to fans after pleading not guilty to molestation charges. Next to that is Beiber waving to fans after being released from jail for his DUI arrest. His caption read: “what more can they say.”

Actual Problem: Not sure who “they” is but I’m gonna assume “they” is HTP. HTP can say that comparing yourself to a dead legend is very Lohan-esque of you, Biebs. HTP can also say that Beat It is arguably better than As Long as You Love Me. Finally, HTP can say, with confidence, that Biebs is a little pansy who is exhibiting signs of possible mental illness veiled in douche-baggery.

Here’s The Problem: “Fun Facts” at the Golden Globes


Here’s The Problem: During the Pre-show (of what was the most BORING Globes ever…right??) a bevy of “fun facts” popped up on the screen. THIS was one of them.

OMG. REALLY???????????????

Actual Problem: The only thing LESS fun than this fact was Jacquelin Bisset’s speech.