Here’s the Problem: Don’t f*** with me, Albertson’s. I know what those are. Last I checked, the word “donut” isn’t trademarked, so what are you getting at here?
Actual Problem: What’s the obsession with the word, “ring” Albertson’s baked good section?? Why’s it all about a ring? Can’t people be happy without a fucking ring? I mean, some people just want to come home at night and snuggle up with a nice donut without thinking about its shape or consistency or future.
…or maybe it’s just me.
Here’s the Problem: I watched the College Football Playoff Championship game last night (go Bucks!) and was oddly entranced by the logo. I mean, there it was. Big and bold and in the middle of the field. Looking seductive, yet warm and embracing. Whoever came up with it seemed to have an intense understanding of lines and life. Possibly from the Georgia O’Keefe school of logo design?
Actual Problem: With all the attention to the logo, it seemed unnecessary to add the stark contract of Ohio State and Oregon cheerleaders. I mean, The Bucks girls could be nuns compared to those Slutty Ducks. I think I can see her logo…
Lisa: Hey Bun!
Lisa: Have you seen this Solange Jay-Z elevator fight?
Kara: I have. She’s soooo crazy and Beyonce just stands there.
Lisa: Because she’s a robot?
Kara: Ummm… more like because she’s seen it all before.
Lisa: Ooooooh! I hadn’t thought of that. You think this is a common thing?
Kara: I do! Otherwise Bey woulda like, waved her arms or something. She literally just stands there. You can almost hear her yawn.
Lisa: Maybe this is what Bey Bey, Diddy and Kimmy K do for entertainment – Put Hova and Solange in a cage and let them go at it.
Kara: I think Solange would lose. She is not very big.
Lisa: No. And HOV has some HEFT. But don’t underestimate a crazy chick with wild eyes.
Kara: Tell me about it.
Wanna see – SEE! and HEAR! – Kara talk about her fighting career? Go here! LMVO has all the hot girl fight commentary.
We’ve got something special to share with you…. if we could only figure out how to set up our iPad. Look out for some fun video content soon*!
*Soon is relative. Don’t hold your breath, but DO get excited.
Here’s the Problem: Have y’all seen recent photos of Adam Levine and Tom Brady? Two of the more attractive men of their generation (despite them painfully knowing and abusing it) have taken their looks back to the 90s. Bleaching their hair and looking like fools.
Actual Problem: There’s a reason that Slim Shady and Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer didn’t survive the advent of Youtube and Twitter. #the90sareover #midlifecrisesarebetterrtealizedwithsportscars #Doesn’tyourwifedoPantenecommercialsTom? #Notallattentionisgoodattention
Here’s The Problem: Boy Meets World was a game changer for many people our age. (And by “our age” we mean folks TWICE as old as the demo for the Disney Channel series, Girl Meets World.). It’s been over 20 years since we first met Cory and Topanga, and we expected some things to change – the addition of laugh lines, the subtraction of baby fat – but something else has changed. Something no one could truly prepare for….Cory’s NOSE. Instead of the smooth, semi–bulbous nose we had come to know and love, a long, pointed dagger is protruding from Cory’s face!
Actual Problem: Have we learned nothing from the days of Jennifer Grey???
Here’s The Problem: Johnny Weir (famed figure skater) and his husband, Victor Voronov are splitting up. The cause of this sad split? Johnny’s mommy. No, for real. Vic is telling the media that his mother-in-law’s meddlesome antics are to blame for the demise of their union.
Actual Problem: I call BULLSHIT on this. Listen Victor, if mother-in-laws were actually able to cause divorces, no one would be married! Buck up!