Tag Archives: Halloween

Here’s The Problem:Halloween is only for YOUNG Whores

Here’s The Problem: Guys, my slutty days have passed me by……..ok let’s be real – I have never had a “slutty” day in my life…….but on Halloween I used to dress like one. I used to have these rocking parties where I got wayyyy too drunk and wore push up bras and started (small & containable) fires in my apartment and  I was Snow White in stilettos (kinda like this whore in the picture)…..no more.

Actual Problem: My mother tells me not to age myself by saying I’m 30 when I’m actually 27 but I gotta tell ya – some things just don’t fly anymore at this age. For instance it might have been really cute to be a passed out slut-bag princess with Snickers wrappers in my hair and one hand clutching an empty bottle of tequila when I was 22 but NOW….

Here’s The Problem: Adults Dressed As Princesses

This is no longer ok.

This is no longer ok.

COUNTDOWN TO INDEPENDENCE (day)

Here’s The Problem: Adult women who want to dress like Disney Princesses.

Actual Problem: Unless you decide to cut off half this dress and slut it up for Halloween (one night only) – this is not ok.